This week has been so humbling for me. I dont even completely know how to write out everything that I am feeling.
I am so imperfect. I have so many weaknesses. I am sitting here at this computer thinking about what I can say to you guys. This transfer has been so hard. But, I am learning so much. I want to share a story with you guys that a sister missionary told me. It is about her dad. She said that her dad grew up on Virginia Beach and was this really cool surfer dude that had curly blonde hair and blue eyes. He had all of the girls and all of the friends in the world! Everyone knew who he was and everyone wanted to be his friend. Then he went on his mission and was serving in Nevada. He said that one day he was riding his bike trying to be all cool and a corvet pulled up next to him with the top off and a bunch of really cute girls were inside and they were all shouting to him and he felt so cool! But, then before he knew it, his bike hit a puddle and he went flying off of his bike and landed in a puddle of muddy water. He said that all of the girls started to laugh and made fun of the mormons and drove off. He said that he stood up and remembers thinking in his head, You guys have NO idea how cool I am! You guys have NO idea how many friends I have or how many people like me!! But, then a thought popped into his head that said You really arent that cool. But, I can make you all that you want and more if you will just follow me.
I have many, many weaknesses. I have always been aware of them. In Ether 12:27 it says:
27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
Satan and Heavenly Father have a pretty similar plan. The only difference is that Satan only likes to point out our weaknesses and makes us feel stupid. There are so many missionaries and members here and they are all so great! I feel so lame sometimes! But, this time, this mission, has the ability to change me if I will let it. I take one step forward 3 steps back.. but, Heavenly Father is so proud of that one step forward! He is so grateful when we make even the smallest step towards Him. There are people here that have baptisms every single month, investigators in church every single sunday, they know the scriptures like the back of their hand, or they really have it figured out how to follow the spirit. Sometimes I feel so worthless to be serving here. There are better people to be doing this work.. but, then I remember that Heavenly Father called me here because he knows that I can do it.
On Tuesday we went to teach Shirly. She is a Menos Activo. Her baby just miscarried and she is really depressed. But, she wants to come back to church. We have started to teach her the missionary lessons again.
On Wednesday we had Zone meeting. I gave a spiritual thought about Saving the Starfish and gave everyone a braclet that says Salvar Las Estrellas Del Mar.
On Thursday we went to San Juan in the morning to contactar. Our zone is trying something new. We are contacting in every area of our zone and giving the missionaries of that area the referencias. It is working out pretty well. Then we had lunch with Jacky. There were ants in the food and I did not feel really well after eating it. Then we had a Noche de Hermanamiento in the house of Reina Sanchez. After we played a game where a person is blind folded and they walk around trying to touch a persons head and when they touch the head, they say Talk Pig! and the person has to make pig noises and the blind folded person has to guess who it is. It was fun!
Friday HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN! I was thinking about you all day long! I was throwing up and not feeling well all night long. oh well! The zone came to San Mateo this day to contact and I went on divisions with Hermana Mcgill. This was my last division with her! She goes home in 2 weeks. That is so crazy! When I came she had 10 months! Life is so quick. But, I love her. She always gives me the best advice! She is an example of the fourth missionary. You should read that talk. It is called The Fourth Missionary.
Then Saturday in the afternoon we had a night of games in the church! Only youth came. It was suppose to be for the whole ward and there friends. But, it ended up being good. They had fun. Then after we went and met with Gissela. She said that every single time with out fail when she is angry or wondering if God really exists we knock on her door. She said that she talked to her pastor about the authority. haha She said she told him he needs to pray to know if he really has the permission to baptize and if he feels good about it, he can keep going. I thought that was funny. The spirit is always so strong when we visit her. She told us that if she goes to church with us, she will stay with us.
Then Sunday we didnt have any investigadores in church, but two complete less active families that we have been working with came! I was so happy for them! Then we went to Shirlys house and played UNO with her and all of her siblings and then shared a spiritual thought it was so good! Then we went to Kimberlys house to pray with her and her family. Her brother Andres went into surgery this morning because has a cyst in his spinal chord and it is really dangerous. I love them! They always laugh and say Este Hermana Bullough! haha
Today we played kick ball with water balloons. It was so much fun.
I want this experience to change my life. I am so grateful to be here. I love being in Guatemala and I love being a missionary. I am nothing, but, with Jesus Christ I can become someone.
I love you guys so much! Everyday is a new day to start out more strong than yesterday!
I love how in The Book of Mormon when the prophets are about to die they always say Now I am going to return to my Father in Heaven and He will recieve me with open arms. I want that. I want Him to recieve me with open arms.
I love you guys.
Hermana Natalie Paige Bullough